Whilst I have been having great success with the exercises that I referenced in my previous post, there is one context in which this approach does not appear to work.

That is: with friends and family.

I cannot yet really explain it, but my assumption is that it is due to mental models. As I get to know someone, I form a mental model of them, one that becomes ever more complex as I get to know them better. These could be seen as a form of prediction. If a prediction proves useful, it will be accepted, and used to ever greater effect. But it remains a prediction.

Likewise, others that know me well form similar mental model predictions about me too.

The inquiry technique I documented in my previous post works when the client has an open mind without preconceptions. These conditions are very hard to manufacture with people we know well, or who know us well.

All is not lost though. The simplest route is to teach these tools to a friend that doesn’t know them well, then have this friend lead them through them. Not the simplest, but at least a workaround.